Would YOU like a Maid2Clean Your Home ?

That's it.  That's exactly what the leaflet says.  Normally we get 'Domino Pizza' leaflets at least once a week.  They just ram them in our letterbox and we have to pull them out, ripping them along the way and wondering why we need so many leaflets.  Perhaps if they didn't spend so much on advertising then they could lower their prices.  Anyway.  Today's leaflet is advertising maids. 

I'm desperately looking for a new job so at the moment I don't really need a maid.  Besides which, my husband is my maid.  Okay, so he doesn't have a dress and an apron like the lady on this leaflet, or at least if he does, I've never seen him wearing it.  In any case, the jobs get done just the same.  Although I wish he'd tell me when he's cleaned the toilet out and wiped bleach or cleaner over the toilet seat.  That way, when I sit down on it I would NOT get a wet bum !!!  So even though we don't need a maid, this leaflet concerned me a little.  I'm wondering if it's a 'secret coded ad' for a 'different' kind of maid.  I mean, look at the bottom right of it.  'Internal windows'.  Is that code for something else ?  Then there is 'one-off jobs'.  Jobs.  The word 'jobs' just makes me wonder.  The 'one-off' part does too.  So maybe these aren't codewords.  Maybe it's the real deal.  Then again, the 'one-off jobs' part - what does that mean ?  The maid does such a bad job the first time that it becomes a one-off because they don't want her calling again ?

Then I look at the other page.  Hourly rate ONLY £9.00 - £9.75.  Ha.  No way.  HE does the cleaning and all I need to offer is lunch consisting of a couple of bread rolls with cheap ham in them.  Oh, and a can of drink or cup of coffee.  That equates to not much more than £2.00, and that's not for the hour - that's for cleaning the whole day !  Although if I ever did need a maid it does say 'working hours to suit you', so presumably she could come to work for a couple of hours around 3am ?  You know, when we've had a bit of a party and there are lots of beer cans and half-eaten burgers from the barbecue left laying around and we are just too drunk to clear up.  Would she come and clear that up ?  I have to admit though, I'm going off the idea of the maid.  I get halfway down this and it says the maids are vetted.  Then it also says you can change your worker.  Why would you need to if they've been vetted.  Then it says about sickness replacement cover.  Great.  I've not hired the maid yet and there is already talk of her being off sick.  So no, we won't be getting a maid.  Perhaps I'll just give HIM an extra chocolate biscuit to go with his rolls and drink.  He is outside cleaning the car at the moment.  Where does it say on the leaflet that the maid cleans cars ?  See - a maid would be no good !!!

The heatwave is over !

Last week the weather-men were talking of us getting a 'mini-heatwave' for two days on Sunday and Monday.  I didn't believe them.  These are the same weather-men that told us we were getting two weeks of very hot weather around the middle of May, continuing until the end of May.  I half believed them that time but it never happened.  Now you can understand why I didn't believe them this time about the mini-heatwave.  But hey ...  it happened !  On Sunday the weather was really warm.  I think it was about 28 degrees C.  We actually managed to sit in the garden for the afternoon.  You know, like you do, with a few drinks (yes, of course, the alcoholic kind of drink) although I'm not sure we bought the bird bath for HIM to stand his drink in while there is no water in it !!!

That was Sunday !  Yesterday it was still very warm but muggy.  No air.  No sunshine either.  Just this awful close heat.  We had to go out during the afternoon and the temperature readout in my car said it was 32 degrees C outside!  The sky was really blue the day before but yesterday it got quite grey by about 5pm.  We did sit in the garden for an hour or so but it was touch and go with the rain.  I took a picture of the grey sky which probably doesn't really look grey until you see the bottom picture of how the sky was the day before.

And today ...  it has rained almost all day.  The heatwave definitely went.  We've had thunder and lightning too.  Apparently some places locally have also had hail the size of pennies, but it looks like we managed to escape that.  I hope those two days weren't our summer.  We had two good days in April.  Maybe that's it for summer this year - just two days a month.  Oh well, I'll just look forward to the two summer days in July !!

 

No tea, no flowers, no Royals !!!

Here we are again !  For the people that don't know why I called my blog this - no tea, no flowers, no Royals - let me explain.  I've mentioned this here because who knows, in months to come (or maybe weeks) it could change again.  This title was on the recommendation of a friend.  This same friend that called me a 'fake brit' and 'blunt'.  Her exact words !  But I guess I have to trust her as she's had more experience of blogging and she is kinda good at it (but don't tell her I said that) !  We'll ignore the name calling.  For now.  Oh, and she also thinks that this title will attract more 'viewers' than the original title (see?  she's good).

So the title of  'no tea, no flowers, no Royals' ..... 

No tea - I don't like tea.  Simple as.  I haven't drunk tea since I was about 9 years old. 

No flowers - it's not that I don't like flowers.  I just don't know what to do with them.  Give me a vase and a bunch of flowers and .....  I'll give you them back.  I can't arrange flowers at all.  I send them to Mum on Mother's Day and shit like that, umm, I mean special occasions like that !  But give them to me ?  No thanks.  Although I think I did get a bouquet from HIM on our first anniversary and I got the occasional red rose when we were just going out.  Anyway, back to the title. 

No Royals - again, it's not that I don't like the Royals, but they're a bit like the flower explanation - I'm not sure what to do with them.  I probably wouldn't be able to stick the Queen and Prince Philip in a vase and make them look any better than the flowers - I just don't really know if they're a good thing or a bad thing (the Royals, not the flowers) !

The beginning. Again.

So here we are again.  I've decided to give this blogging marlarky just one more try.  I won't even go there with my last blogs.  All I can say is the second time I done nothing wrong.  I still don't understand but ...   we won't go there!  I'll just let, umm, nature, do it's thing.  Some of you will know what I'm talking about.  Others won't have a clue.  Anyway, it's a lovely day today.  We are having a mini heatwave, and by mini, I MEAN mini.  Two days.  That's it.  We've had rain pretty much through all of June so far and then it decides to hit us with two good days and then apparently tonight we are due thunderstorms, just to finish it off nicely huh ?  They did say something about a tornado too.  Okay so I'm sure it won't happen over here but it would be good to watch yes ?  I remember that film with the cow being flown through the air by the tornado.  I can't remember what the film was called, but I laughed.  A lot.